"There is so much love and support in the [gray hair] community, evidenced in each #silversister's post," says Gambino. "It's great to be able to share the agony and triumphs with women who have the same goals. We're all just grinning through a process that's not particularly pleasant. Growing out grays is very much like growing out a terrible haircut—you're living with the shame of the 'ugliness' you don't really want there, but you know you have to go through it get to where you want to be." She says knowing others are going through the same thing is a "tremendous boost on days when I may not feel as glamorous as my Instagram makes me seem."
Adjust Your Hair Care Accordingly
Once your grays begin growing in, you might need to tweak your routine to complement both the new color and texture. “Natural gray hair can lose its luster, often turning a slight yellow hue,” says Nash. "To keep hair looking bright, use a shampoo and conditioner containing silver or violet tones." Try Davines Alchemic Shampoo Silver, which gently cleanses hair without harsh sulfates, or Clairol Shimmer Lights Shampoo - Blonde & Silver (it's a stylist fave).
A heavier conditioner will also help, since gray hair is inherently dry. “As we get older, our scalp produces less sebum, or oil, which results in a drier and rougher hair texture,” Nash says. “In other words, the hormones that cause us to lose our natural pigments are the same ones that change the oil we produce to nourish new hair growth.” Try a moisturizing conditioner that has brassiness-neutralizing purple tones, like Sachajuan Silver Conditioner. Then consider blow-drying your hair instead of air-drying it. "The actual gray hair is not shiny, so if you don’t blow-dry it, it can look very dull," says Nunzio Saviano, hairstylist and owner of Nunzio Saviano Salon in NYC.
Don't Be Afraid to Experiment
Sure, you might not want to go to the salon every week, but you can still experiment once you're silver. "A few well-placed highlights, lowlights, or gloss can go a long way to complementing the gray," Kim says. "So feel free to have fun and try things out." That's what Kamarul did a few months ago. She dyed her ends a lighter blond "to keep the bottom brighter" so it looks more intentional.
Despite the challenges, though, women who've embraced their gray agree that it's worth it. For some, it's a work in progress. "I'm still figuring out how to detach my ideas of youth and beauty from a box of 'rich caramel brown,'" says Andrus. But across the board, those who've done it are happy with it. "My hair has never been so low-maintenance and received so much positive attention," says Kamarul. Collins agrees. "I’ve had more compliments on my natural gray hair than I ever had on my dyed brown hair," she says. "I have never been as content with my hair color as I am now."
Deanna Pai is a beauty writer in New York City. Follow her at @deannapai.
