Organize a pay-your-own-way get-together for the out-of-towners. What do I mean? Pick a spot, say, the bar or restaurant at the hotel where most of your guests are staying, and pick a time for them all to meet up and mingle. This way, they get to know the other people who will be at your wedding the next day, and they're not sitting in their hotel rooms with nothing to do while you're at your rehearsal dinner. Appoint an especially outgoing guest to make introductions and have him or her send out an e-mail inviting guests to this place.
Ask a local friend to host a gathering. Yes, that's asking a lot, but offer to pay for the refreshments (beer, soda, chips, and dips will still be cheaper than full dinners for guests) and give the friend a pass on giving you a wedding present. This scenario comes with the same pluses as above (guests will get to know each other and have something better to do than flipping through the channels on the hotel room TV).
Plan a different kind of fun activity. Choose a movie for them all to see at a local movie theater that they can easily get to. See if you can arrange a deal, like one free large popcorn per family, to make it more festive. Or hire a local to take them on a tour of the area.
Whatever you decide, don't feel like you have to drop a lot of dough to show your guests a good time. The effort you put into it will matter more.
Are you including all of your out-of-towners at your rehearsal dinner? If not, are you doing anything extra to make their trip out for your wedding worth it? Has anyone gotten annoyed at you for not being invited to your rehearsal dinner?
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