This, of course, sets off Bennett, who goes to Caputo and isn't happy about Pornstache's return. Caputo says Mendez is good at being a hard-ass, so Bennett says he can be a hard-ass too. Memo to baby-faced Bennett: No one can out "Pornstache" Pornstache. Sigh.
Next, we catch up with Healy, who is in therapy with his doctor. He vents about his job, his home life, and the fact that he has to talk about anything at all. He then lashes out at her and calls her a "see you next Tuesday":
I mean, dude went from zero to C-word the way I go from zero cookies to an entire box of Nabisco. Pretty ugly stuff, y'all!
An AA meeting finishes at the prison, and Vee tries to butter up Miss Rosa, but no luck. So Vee starts to talk to Nicky but strikes out once again. Red spies this and is not happy. She heads over to the kitchen and tells Gloria she has almost everything Glo needs, and then Bennett comes over and writes Red a shot. He tells her not to be anywhere near the kitchen again, and she replies with, "You're going to be a great father," and walks away. Bennett looks shocked that she knows this information. UM, hello? Gossip in tight spaces travels faster than a White Castle meal through the human body. There's no way Red wouldn't find out about that. Moving on...to a flashback of Red arriving at Litchfield.
She looks shy and nervous. Vee enters and bunks next to Red. A group of black women come in to greet Vee and basically let her know she's with them, but Vee doesn't work like that. She stays in the room and befriends Red. Turns out Vee has been in Litch before. She advises Red to use her connections (i.e., the vendors) to make prison life better.
We return to the present. Poussey is selling cigarettes while Crazy Eyes keeps watch. Outside the prison, Pipes and Cal visit Larry. Then the two former lovers have a boring-off: She says she misses the smell of coffee, Larry tells her that she can stay with him even though he doesn't mean it, and they awkwardly talk about Polly. Cal's all like, "Hey, guys, there a dead lady in a casket that we all knew, so maybe we should go to that? It's time for our grandma's funeral."
Pornstache picks on Soso (Who, I have to say, has been a character that has never quite gelled this season. Maybe that's just me?). She says she will report him to the administration. That's when he makes a fool of her in front of the lunch room. She yells out that she's starting an anti-eating demonstration, and he takes her away to give her extra work for insubordination. All the inmates whoop and holler, so Bennett yells for them to be quiet.
After the viewing, everyone gathers at Pipes' parents' house. Pipes drinks, then puts the moves on Larry and tells him she misses him. #Barf. She wants to have sex, and thankfully, he gets away. Her dad comes in the room and tells her to stop drinking. Pipes isn't having it and snaps at him for not visiting her in while she's been in prison. He says he can't see her locked up. Understandable.
