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Who knows when we’ll all be able to be in public sans mask, let alone get to strut in statement swimwear. But in the meantime, reading #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE can at least be a mental rehearsal for whenever that day returns, so that the exhilaration of being outside again isn’t tainted by body negativity or the overwhelming desire to hide your quarantine body.
We spoke with Byer about how she came up with the book idea, how she deals with pandemic and racism-related stress, and what is bringing her joy right now.
Your book features a ton of gorgeous bikinis. Do you have any favorites?
Some people collect cars; I collect bikinis. But I don’t have a favorite one, per se. I love them all. But you can get them in so many different places. If you’re a plus-size woman, if they sell clothes, they probably sell bathing suits and swimwear. But Torrid is great, Lane Bryant, Forever 21—there’s just so many.
Bikini Top
Celestial Bikini Set
Sash Swimsuit
When you were writing this book, were there any books or authors you took inspiration from?
No, not really, because I kind of write my own—you really hear my voice through the book. So I just really wrote from the heart, if you will, and then I had a friend, Madeline—she’s the first editor [who] edited my essays for me and helped me make my voice a little clearer. And she helped streamline a little bit, and then my actual book editor did a really great job of being like, “Clarify this, clarify that.” So yeah, I got a lot of help along the way, which is really fun and wonderful.
Are there any books you’ve been reading in quarantine that you’d recommend?
I did read Ali Wong’s book Dear Girls, and I really fucking liked it—that was really, really wonderful. I reread one of my favorite books, it’s called Jemima J, I love it so much. But I haven’t really read anything substantial; I’ve been reading a lot of Op-Ed pieces.
Dear Girls
What has been the most challenging part of this time for you?
I’m a real people person who’s not allowed to be around people, so that has been really challenging for me. I do stand-up—that is predominantly in front of people—and I don’t know when I’ll be able to do that again. I travel a lot for work; I don’t know when that's gonna happen again. Productions are starting up again, but I don’t know when in actuality the productions that I’m in will start. So that’s just been hard.
Why is it so important to prioritize self-care now?
Especially Black people, I think it’s important for us to prioritize self-care. It is not our job to educate. It is not our job to do the work for people who are late to the game and understanding what we go through. But yeah, I think self-care is very important.
My self-care was not watching the news, when I felt overwhelmed, turning the news off. When I feel overwhelmed, taking a moment for myself, going to my room and just like being alone, putting my phone down. That’s a lot of self-care.
How do you handle people asking you to educate them?
I’m very lucky that I surrounded myself with some smart people who know that they don’t need my book recommendations to read about racism. They're sharing it with each other, which I think is really great. But that being said, if you’re friends with somebody and they’re a dear friend and they’re Black, and you have a question, you can ask them that, because you’re friends. But if I haven’t talked to you since high school? No, no, I’m so sorry. You gotta do it on your own.
How are you finding joy right now?
I started pole dancing at Luscious Maven, like a year and a half ago at this point. It’s something tangible that you can see yourself getting better at which is what I love, and you get strong. It’s cool. I love it. I’m not good at it, but it brings me joy to do it.
