10 things to know about having opposite gender bestie

Men and women can be besties. No crossing of boundaries, no falling in love or having sex. It’s the same as having a bestie from the same gender.

However, many people don’t understand that a man and woman can be best friends in a purely platonic way. Most people either assume that the man is bidding his time to get into the woman’s pants or that the woman is low key in love with the man. While it is true that having an opposite gender bestie can lead to a romantic relationship like in the popular 90s rom-com When Harry Met Sally, it doesn’t mean that it happens in all cases.

This article will reveal the meaning of bestie and what you need to know about having an opposite gender bestie.

Table of Content hide 1Meaning of bestie 2Opposite gender bestie 2.1Everyone assumes you’re married, dating or having sex 2.2Your partner may feel insecure about your friendship 2.3No long beef in your fights 2.4You’re always setting each other up with dates 2.5You’re protective of each other 2.6You’re case studies about the opposite gender 2.7Opposite gender besties are very easy to talk to 2.8They are more patient 2.9You don’t feel shy around them 2.10You don’t feel the need to hang out with other people 3How opposite gender bestie affects a relationship 4Rules of opposite gender besties 5How to deal with opposite gender bestie in your relationship

Meaning of bestie

A bestie means a best friend or a close friend. He or she is someone you’re close to and spend a lot of time together. Having a bestie is a purely platonic relationship.

Opposite gender bestie

Here are ten things you need to know about having an opposite gender bestie

Everyone assumes you’re married, dating or having sex

This is the number one stigma of having an opposite gender as a bestie. Everyone from the waiter in a street bukka to your parents will assume that there’s something romantic going on. But the truth is you guys have not so much as kissed not to talk of going to the second or third phases.

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Your partner may feel insecure about your friendship

It’s hard to convince your partner that nothing is going on between you and your opposite gender bestie. Some partners are rightly against such close friendships with members of the opposite sex. As a result, you may have problems dating or keeping a romantic relationship because of insecurities from your partners.

No long beef in your fights

Having a bestie from the opposite gender comes with little drama. You can have explosive fights most of the time, but you find your way back to each other. Unlike the other gender, especially females, that can beef for Africa; it’s hard to stay mad for long at your opposite gender bestie.

You’re always setting each other up with dates

Like we said before, it’s really hard to form romantic relationships with other people as most of them already think you guys have a thing together.’ So you take it upon yourselves to find the perfect dates for each other. This is one of the effective ways of assuring the dates that nothing is going on between you two other than a platonic friendship.

You’re protective of each other

As a female with a male bestie, you will realize he is protective of you. He sees you as his sister from another mother and will try his best to make sure no guy takes undue advantage of you. The same thing applies to you where your male bestie is concerned.

You’re case studies about the opposite gender

Having a bestie from the opposite sex will help you learn more about the gender and how to relate with them. For instance, let’s say you are interested in going into a romantic relationship, your opposite gender bestie will teach you how to relate with their gender, their dos and don’ts, likes and dislikes. You stand a chance of winning over your love interest if you know how to relate with them, and your bestie will help you do that.

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Opposite gender besties are very easy to talk to

There’s something so calming about sharing your thoughts with your bestie from the opposite sex. You won’t feel judged or in a competition because they are different. There’s no need to be fake or pretentious around them. You also don’t need to impress them. They are easier to talk to because:

They are more patient

Yes, people are usually more patient with members of the opposite sex than with their gender. Having an opposite gender bestie increases the patience to a higher level. They may be annoying, and you sometimes feel like dunking their heads in the toilet, but generally like to overlook some of your nonsense because you’re, well… different.

You don’t feel shy around them

You can be yourself around your opposite gender bestie. You can fart, put your finger in your nostrils and snore loudly in front of them, and you won’t care. You’re so relaxed around them that you let yourself show both the good and bad sides.

You don’t feel the need to hang out with other people

I mean, what’s the point of meeting other people when you have your opposite gender bestie. It may be dangerous because it can affect your social life, but it is what it is. Opposite gender bestie rocks.

How opposite gender bestie affects a relationship

Platonic friendships between men and women of compatible sexualities are common. However, the same cannot be said for their romantic partners. Besties from the opposite gender are close, so close that most people assume there is sexual chemistry underneath their friendship. As a result, people in a romantic relationship with them always feel threatened and insecure. Some go ahead to lash out at them. Others tell their partners to choose the relationship or their besties of the opposite gender.

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It is hard to see someone dating another person who has an opposite gender bestie and is cool with it. It’s also hard to find a romantic partner when you have an opposite gender bestie because no one believes you’re single. Unless your bestie has a hand in finding you a romantic partner, dating is an arduous task.

In addition, when you do find a romantic partner, you can’t help but compare them to your opposite gender bestie. You want your partner to be like your bestie, act like them, relate with you like them. Your bestie is like a lurking shadow in your relationship. Everywhere you go, they are there physically, mentally or emotionally. This adds to your partner’s insecurities and can affect your relationship with them.

Rules of opposite gender besties

Keep your friendship strictly platonic.
Watch out for developing romantic feelings. It can be the end of the friendship.
Respect each other’s feelings all the time.
Don’t keep secrets about each other from other people. Let people know your friendship is platonic.
Know your boundaries. Don’t touch each other in inappropriate places.
Introduce your bestie to your family and other friends. Make sure they are comfortable around themselves.
Don’t have sex with each other. No matter how turned on you may be, don’t do it.
Have other friends from the same gender.
Don’t hide your romantic partner from your bestie and vice versa
Don’t compare each other to your partners.
Understand when you’re flirting and stop.